my poetry..
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the cry of the soul | are you happy? | hey you!
invisible essence | slap | coy boy
world of mine | feeling | dream | hypnotized
why? | my favourite poet! | with or...
What shall I do when I die?
I'll just die and nothing else,
Or maybe something will happen,
God knows.And if my soul don't die with my body,
I'll be back & tell you everything
About the life after the death.
And maybe something will happen,
God knows.If I stay alive I hope
My soul will go to the Heaven,
To God & the angels,
To happy life without tears.
And maybe something I'll see there,
God knows.I'll see there beauty of the places men and women
And find my pals and lovers
And I'll be back to tell you everything
About my life there.
And maybe something will happen,
God knows.And maybe you will understand
All you don't wanna know by now,
But it'll be too late
'Cause you can't stop the time
And turn it back,
I won't be yours ever,
I know.11 december 1995
To have the happy life
You have to pay for that.
Not with your money, no,
Just by your heart & friends.You've got the choice that's been already done
By parents of the human beings,
By God who won't tell you ever
Where is your happiness.The choice that means to be or not to be
You know is done & now you are,
But what is sense of being
You do not know by now.That's why you're so unhappy,
That's why you're feeling lost
And people are all angry
When you are asking them
What is the happiness's cost.11 december 1995
Hey you, shit, stand up,
Fuck you, you will die.Get off what ye call soil,
See ye no man at all,
Your life is over now,
You live without desire.Hey you, shit, stand up,
Fuck you, you will die.Look 'round what do you see?
Dead ground & men like ye.
Come here to me my friend
I'll show the life of death.Hey you, shit, stand up,
Fuck you, you will die.Go straight don't run away,
Forget the troubles of the day.
See people goin' after you,
I'll rule 'em how I rule you too.30 september 1996
Believe me, please, my little friend
I am with you until the end,
'Cause all you've seen is just a man
Who sent you to the dying land.And now ya back and looking for me,
Ya waiting for something but why can't you see
That it's all in vein and you won't receive
What you can get with your last rebel scream.No one can find you & no one can hurt
No one'll betray your sweat dreams, my sword
Will be your shield from the tumbling world
And you will live with obituary word.17 october 1996
You don't love me anymore,
You said this two days ago
But until today I moan
'Cause can't take these words I've learned.I gave all my life for you,
Now don't know what to do.
Tell me, please, that it's not true
And you love me like I do.I can't see you anymore
And can't tell you what I want
Always helped you but no more
I'd be able share my warm.How could you be so cold
In this so ugly world?
I did all you wanted to,
How could you take me from you?How can't you understand:
Life without you is the end
When I can't sit by your hand
On the small but our land.You have hurt me so soon
I will die under the Moon
Like my love that I gave you
Which you killed and didn't look.So if you don't come
I will come to you, my love.
What will do you after mine
Slap and saying you "Good-bye!"?24 december 1997
You are so coy,
My little boy.
Don't be afraid
Of me, my toy.You wanted to be happy.
Your love is here, just take it.
Don't be so shy, I'll help you
To get it all through passion.You are so shy,
You are so blind
But you will smile
After awhile.Ya comfortably sitting,
So let me give you kisses,
So small and pretty kisses,
I'll do it like a princess.You are so cold,
My little boy
But you'll be warm
And nearly hot.Ya lying with me sleeping,
You've got all you'd been dreaming.
Tomorrow after waking
You'll get you were mistaken.You are along,
You've lost your joy.
Now be resolved
And watching learn.3 january 1998
I have no things to loose
'Cause I didn't dare to choose,
Didn't dare to be a cause,
Reason of the life I was.No things so no cry,
No fare-wells just good-byes
And the world that was of mine
Run away with slightest smile.Become quiet, all is still,
No rustles touch my ear
And my thoughts as all are clear,
Deadly lie without a fear.What has happened - asking you,
You do not know & asking too.
On your face I see the truth,
Wanna say, again I loose.You, your truth and truth of mine
But I'm silent, keep my pride,
Nobody has to find
World & me that were of mine.Keeping quiet, I keep sit
On the place that wasn't lit,
Made selfburning things I did
Will be left here after me.8 february 1998
I hoped that it was easy
But found it wasn't so,
I hoped you would be busy
With me, hoped you'd adore me.I hoped so much & thought of,
Was waiting for your soul
But you just made forbidden
All thoughts about your own.I hoped and I felt dizzy,
I'm falling now I'm folly
But I'll pursue your living
And nothing will do stop me.I'll let bells make a tinkle,
I'll let you leave me moaning
But don't forget 'bout feelings
Are sharper than a thorn.14 february 1998
Some night while dreaming saw his back,
Then heads & arms, I saw his legs.
While leaving me he went away,
Away from me, far from my place.I had some words for him to say
But couldn't open mouth for them.
What could I do - just stood somewhere
With no thoughts, without declare.I waked myself when he had left,
Opened my eyes and saw the pain
That he had left for me, my brain,
All my attempts appeared in vain.Nightmare became my ugly fate,
I lost somehow my last God's preys,
I lost my heritage,
I lost my dreams, lost all my faith.25 february 1998
I'll be hypnotized
When you have rised
And after advice
You'll be so nice.In different ways to be
There was one way for me.
I've found you at last,
Ya riding with me fast.I'll be hypnotized
When you have rised
And after advice
You'll be so nice.I'll go 'round days somewhere
Only if you are there,
You are my happy star,
Don't be from me so far.I'll be hypnotized
When you have rised
And after advice
You'll be so nice.I wanna be with you,
I wanna be you too.
Two men in one that's fine,
I'm yours & you are mine.I'll be hypnotized
When you have rised
And after advice
You'll be so nice.My small and ugly world
Without you is so cold.
Give me just all your life
With warmth, take off your life.I'll be hypnotized
When you have rised
And after advice
You'll be so nice.20 may 1998
My babe please comes back to me,
Remember the time when we had love,
Remember the time when we had fun,
Come back again, can't loose you now.Why don't you listen to me?
Look at the world, how can it be?
Without your soul, your body, life,
Without your tears, without your cry,
Without your feeling of me, how?Why don't you listen to me?
All'd been alright, now I can't see
A part of it 'cause you're not mine,
You've broken once all my desire
And no-one piece of it was lying.Why don't you listen to me?
And after all from these ruins
You went away and left me blind,
Except you I don't wanna see no one,
Just tell me why you'd left me, why?Why don't you listen to me?
21 september 1998
My favorite poet!
I'd like to tell you something
About your silhouette,
About your morning pudding.You wanted to be all,
To watch the true of lifeness,
You have already gone
Into the death and darkness.You spoked like giant fish
To giant seas of peoples
And they made with you dish,
Put frayed potato middle.But they could not forget
Your tryings and your bleeding,
You'd said you were poet
But ya again forbidden.You opened your soul
But nobody's taken,
You wanted to be all.
In this you'ven't been mistaken.24 november 1998
With or without
You or another
Gay in the something
Shit of the rubberCalls me go out
Walk through the valley
But it doesn't bother
Me cuz I'm higherSilently dancing
Close to the fire
Of your desire
Wished to aspireMaybe I loved you
You or another
Gay under color
Rainbows in summerFinished it smiling
Had I then got you?
What do I now
With or without you?5 june 1999